I tend to not be very good at conveying how I feel to other people.  I can have a clear concise thought in my head, and am able to put it down on paper, or on a blog, but when I verbally try and explain it to other people, I stumble all over my words.  Public speaking was not created with me in mind.

I felt this with full force yesterday, when I was trying to explain to a co-worker what being a hunter is; what hunting means to me; and why I hunt in the first place, since, obviously, in this day in age, I don’t do it in order to sustain life.   The conversation had many twists and turns, but I really struggled with telling her why I hunt.  I mean there are obvious reasons: enjoying nature, the adrenaline rush that comes with being that close to wild game, the comraderie.  But all of those things I could do while hiking, or playing golf for that matter.

After that conversation, and after reading Holly’s post today, I really started to evaluate what draws me to hunting.  As most of you true hunters know, it is something that is extremely hard to put into words – especially if you’re trying to explain it to a non-hunter.  And an even tougher challenge, and a topic that I’ve written about before, is trying to explain how I can hunt, and kill animals, but still be a die hard animal lover.  It does seem like a complete contradiction.

If you really dug deep, I think you would find that I really started hunting because it was all around me -my brother hunts, my uncle hunts, and my cousins hunt.  It was just a way of life growing up, and eventually grew to be part of me.  Obviously, though, there are plenty of kids out there who grow up around hunting, but ultimately choose not to pursue that activity into adulthood.  So what made me stick with it?

Honestly, I think the main reason is primitive.  From the moment I set foot in the woods with a bow, I felt alive – more alive then I’ve ever felt before.  I also discovered that hunting brought on a heightened sense of awareness – like my senses were on fire.  It also provided a connection back to what humans have been for many years:  a predator!  And I was hooked.

Now, I still realize that I could get those same feelings without actually killing.  I suppose animal photography could stir up some of the same emotions.  But those feelings, and the sure adrenaline rush from them, keep me coming back – while the need to acquire my food the hard way is what ultimately makes me release the string, or pull the trigger.  I could buy my lunch at McDonalds, or pick up dinner wrapped in cellophane, but that doesn’t bring about the same sense of being, and accomplishment, that providing food for the table does.  It makes me feel alive.  And after all, we do have to kill in order to live, don’t we?  And I prefer to have – at least for some of my meals – pure,  low-fat wild food.

Those are the things that keep me hunting.  Not only do you get to experience nature in her purest form, but also, at the same time, you get to provide food for your families table.  The meals that come from hunting, and another animal’s death, ultimately are appreciated more.  They are much more work than simply buying meat at the supermarket, but being connected to that animal – from first encounter, to its ultimate death – helps me to appreciate how precious that animal’s life is.  And while we celebrate being able to eat, and keep living, there is also some sorrow involved.  We are not unaware that a death has taken place; and we are not unaware that an animal’s life has been sacrificed in order to sustain ours.  We were there during that death, and that makes us appreciate our table fare even more, and ultimately allows us – as strange as it may sound – to look at animals with more appreciation.

Hunting is not an unemotional experience.  If anyone ever says that they are kidding themselves.  It is filled with many emotions – good and bad.  That is why I choose to hunt – to experience all of those emotions, and provide food for my family.

Ultimately, I hunt to eat, live, and feel alive.

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